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For the kid whose light went off, and the parent who noticed.
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Your child used to fill every room they walked into.
The kind of kid you had to remind to breathe. Nonstop, all energy, talking the whole way home about things that mattered enormously to them and to basically no one else.
And now the light is off.
They don't want to do the things they loved. They're sleeping too much, crying over nothing, or exploding over something small in a way that doesn't feel like normal frustration. More like something that needed out.
You keep waiting for it to pass. It's not passing.
Or you're the parent of a teenager and the door is just closed. Not the normal closed-door teenage thing, you know the difference. Something heavier.
They used to talk to you, even just a little, even just in the car, and now it's one-word answers and headphones and you lying in bed at 11pm running through the last real conversation you had, trying to figure out if you should be worried.
Some of you already know you should. They said something and you can't unhear it, and you've been on this website for the last hour trying to figure out what to do.
You've tried talking. You've tried giving it space. You've done the "hey, you seem down lately" conversation and you've done the "I'm not going to push" strategy, and neither one cracked it open.
You're carrying your own weather through it, too. The fear you don't say out loud. The audit of the last two years, hunting for the thing you did or missed. The loneliness of watching other people's kids just be okay.
And when you've floated it to anyone, you've heard the standard reassurances. He's just being a teenager. She'll snap out of it. Kids don't get depressed. They're wrong, and being surrounded by wrong makes it lonelier.
You're not overreacting. If it's worrying you enough to be on this page, it's worth doing something about.
Depression in children and teens doesn't always look like sadness.
In younger kids, it often looks like irritability, the out-of-nowhere, nothing-went-wrong kind. Raw. The pediatrician runs tests and finds nothing, meanwhile your kid is having meltdowns that feel different from the ones they used to have. Less about whatever set them off, more like something that needed to get out.
In teens it tends to look like withdrawal. The friend group, the sport, the future they had opinions about, all of it just stops mattering.
Some kids go flat and stop showing up to their own life. Others keep pushing, the grades are fine, the activities are fine, but you can tell they're running on empty and have been for a while.
On the surface it reads as attitude, distance, a phase. Most likely, there's something underneath it they haven't been able to name yet, something too heavy to carry on their own.
This is not a failure, yours or theirs. Something has gotten too big for them to hold alone. That's what therapy is for. Not to fix them, but to give them somewhere to actually put it.
I've sat with a lot of kids, and teens, who looked fine from the outside. Going to school, turning things in, smiling at family dinners, and carrying something enormous underneath. I've also sat with teens who had completely shut down and arrived ready to outlast the hour.
I'm Hannah Ly, LMFT, founder of Your Therapy Nook. Depression in young people is easy to miss, and it's easy for parents to blame themselves when they do. You didn't miss it. You're here now. My approach isn't a coping-skills curriculum. It's helping a kid reconnect with the version of themselves that went quiet.
It's not just me anymore. Every clinician here trained under me and I review every case weekly, so whoever your family is matched with, you're getting someone I'd trust with my own kids. I run every consultation myself, and you can request a specific clinician on the call.
Play is a child's first language. It's how they process things they don't have words for yet.
In sessions, the child leads and I follow, through the sandbox, the art table, the toys on the shelf. A child can show me what's going on in their inner world long before they can say it out loud. And once I can see it, I can help them make sense of it.
There's no curriculum, no worksheet about feelings. The play is the work. It sounds simple. It isn't.
Teen sessions look nothing like child sessions. More conversation, sometimes drawing or games, sometimes just sitting with something that's hard to name. I follow what your teen brings into the room. Some days that's a lot, some days almost nothing. Both are okay.
I use Brainspotting with a lot of teens, especially when the depression has a trauma layer, or when there's a heaviness in the body that's hard to reach through talking alone. It works through the nervous system rather than through insight, which is a genuine relief for a kid who's exhausted by being asked to explain how they feel.
One more thing about teens: before every parent session, I ask your teen what's okay to share. They have real input over that. Confidentiality has legal limits, safety always comes first, but within those limits, what your teen shares stays there. A teen who doesn't feel surveilled will open up. A teen who does, won't.
Whether your child is 7 or 16, what you do at home is part of this: how you show up in the hard moments, how you hold your own feelings when your kid can't hold theirs, how you respond when they push back hard.
Monthly parent coaching is part of every case. Just part of how this works.
Tell us what's happening. We'll tell you how we work, whether this seems like a fit, and which clinician makes sense for your family: Hannah, or one of our associate clinicians, who she trained and clinically directs.
We meet before your child or teen ever comes in. You know them best, and I need to hear from you first.
In person, San Jose or Redwood City. 50 minutes where the only job is understanding what your child is carrying.
You stay in the loop and get real support for what happens between sessions.
Not overnight. But you'll start to notice it, something loosening, something coming back.
San Jose: 2901 Moorpark Ave, Suite 270 · Redwood City: 611 Veterans Blvd, Suite 210 · (408) 461-5935 · hello@yourtherapynook.com
Depression shows up differently by age. Here's what to look for.
If any of these feel familiar, you didn't miss something. You noticed something. That matters.
Kids in the Bay Area grow up surrounded by ambition. It starts before they can consent to it, parents hearing about college before their kid can read.
Achievement becomes identity, and when the achievement stumbles, a team they didn't make, a grade they weren't expecting, a friend group that shifted without warning, for a lot of kids the collapse is total.
A lot of the teens I see here aren't visibly falling apart. They're still going to school. Still turning things in. Still answering "fine" when you ask. But there's an exhaustion underneath that they don't have words for, a sense that nothing they do is ever quite enough, that they're permanently behind on something they can't name.
That is its own kind of suffering, even when the grades are still there.
Some kids respond by shutting down. Some respond by pushing harder, the activities, the studying, the relentless forward motion. Both are versions of the same thing. Both need somewhere to put it down.
A lot of parents here carry their own guilt about this: "We gave them everything. We moved here for the opportunities. What did we do wrong?" Almost always, the answer is nothing. The environment they're growing up in is genuinely hard. Seeing that, and getting them support, is the right call.
Progress in therapy for depression isn't linear, and I want to be honest about that. There are weeks that feel like three steps forward and two back.
But over time, families tell me things like: the house is calmer and they can't quite explain why. Their younger kid asked to go back to the thing they'd given up. Their teen talked to them last night, not about anything important, just actually talked, and it felt like something coming back. The arguments still happen. But they end differently now.
A depressed child or teen carries their pain into every room. When they have a place to actually put it down, with someone whose whole job is to help them make sense of it, they stop needing to unload it everywhere else. That's when things shift at home.
In younger children, depression often looks like irritability, loss of interest in activities they used to love, unexplained physical complaints, sleep changes, and self-critical statements. In teens, watch for social withdrawal, loss of motivation, and comments like "what's the point" or "I hate myself." If your child has said anything about not wanting to be here or hurting themselves, call 988 immediately.
No. Depression can occur in children as young as three. Young children can't always name sadness, but they show it through behavior, play, and physical symptoms. If your child's mood and engagement with the world has shifted noticeably, it's worth exploring regardless of age.
Teen depression frequently presents as withdrawal, irritability, loss of interest in things they used to care about, and hopelessness about the future. It's often mistaken for normal teenage behavior, which is why it goes unaddressed. A teen who has shifted noticeably from their previous baseline deserves a closer look.
This is one of the most common things parents of teens tell me. The parent intake session before your teen's first appointment gives us time to plan together. In my experience, once a resistant teen is actually in the room, most of them find it's nothing like what they were dreading. I'm not there to report back to you or give them homework. That usually surprises them.
Before every parent session, I ask your teen what's okay to share. They have real input over that. Confidentiality has legal limits, if your teen is in danger, safety comes first, but within those limits, what your teen brings into session stays there. A teen who doesn't feel surveilled will open up. A teen who does, won't. That's the whole game.
Adult depression often presents as persistent sadness and low energy. In children and teens, it more commonly shows up as irritability, loss of interest in activities, and physical complaints like stomachaches or headaches. A child who seems angry, or a teen who seems checked out, may actually be depressed. It gets missed because it doesn't match the adult picture.
Anxiety tends to look like worry, avoidance, and fear of bad things happening. Depression tends to look like emptiness, low motivation, and loss of interest. The two frequently co-occur. You don't need to figure out which one you're dealing with before reaching out. The intake process is where we sort that out together.
We use play therapy for younger children, ages 3 to 10, which lets them process their inner world through play rather than requiring verbal expression. For teens, sessions are relationship-driven and more conversational, with Brainspotting available where there's a somatic or trauma layer. Monthly parent coaching is built into every case.
It depends on the child, the severity, and what's underneath the depression. Some families notice real shifts within a few months. Others work with us longer. I'll be direct with you throughout about what I'm seeing.
We are a private-pay practice and do not accept insurance. Session fees run $200 to $270 depending on the clinician; current rates are on our rates page. We provide a superbill you can submit for potential out-of-network reimbursement. If cost is a concern, ask about our associate clinicians during your consultation.
Your Therapy Nook specializes exclusively in children and teens, ages 3 to 17, with offices in San Jose (2901 Moorpark Ave, Suite 270) and Redwood City (611 Veterans Blvd, Suite 210). To find out if we're the right fit, schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
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If this topic is personal for you right now and you need support, call or text 988 any time.