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Questions Parents Ask About Child and Teen Therapy

The honest answers, before you ever get on the phone.

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Getting Started

What ages do you work with?+

We see children and teens ages 3 to 17. Most of our caseload is in the 4 to 12 range, but we work with teens regularly. If your child is outside that range, or you're not sure whether this is the right fit, a 15-minute consultation will tell you quickly.

What happens on the consultation call?+

A free 15-minute phone call. You tell us what's going on. We ask a few questions, explain how we work, and answer yours. No evaluation, no paperwork.

Part of the call is matching: which therapist fits your child's age, what's going on, and your schedule. We'll tell you who we think is the right match and why, and you can request anyone.

If it feels right, we collect a non-refundable deposit, pair you with your therapist, and schedule your intake.

Do you have after-school or weekend appointments?+

Yes. We offer after-school availability at both offices. Weekend appointments, Saturday and Sunday, are at the San Jose office right now, not Redwood City. Most of our clients are school-age, so we keep slots open when kids are actually free. Availability shifts as schedules fill, so ask on the consultation call. We'll match your family with the therapist who has the timing that works for you.

What happens at the first appointment?+

The intake is just for parents. Your child doesn't come to this one. We spend the full session talking about what you're seeing at home, what you want for your child, and what you want to have changed by the time we're done. We set therapy goals together and schedule your child's weekly sessions and your parent coaching every four weeks.

Fit

Fit here is rarely a question of whether you can. It is a question of whether you are willing: to be in it yourself, to let go of some control over what happens in the room, and to trust the work before you can see it.

A Good Fit

We are probably a good fit if:

You want to understand what is going on with your child, not only stop the behavior.
You are willing to look at what happens at home, including your own part in it.
You can make a parent session every four weeks, and you are willing to use it, not just attend it.
Your child is 3 to 17 and you can get to San Jose or Redwood City weekly.
You can hold a consistent weekly time, and you are willing to keep it through the weeks when nothing seems to be happening.
You want a child therapist who will tell you the truth, including when it is not what you hoped.
You can sit with not knowing everything while the therapy happens.
You are skeptical and still willing to give it enough time to find out.
You can hear that something you do at home is part of the pattern, and try something different, even when it's uncomfortable.

Not a Good Fit

We are probably not a good fit if:

You want your child fixed while everything at home stays the same. Parents are part of every case here.
You are only interested in short-term work, or need a guaranteed timeline.
You want to come when there is a problem and skip the weeks when things are calm. The steady weeks are where most of the work happens.
You want the parent session to be optional. It asks you to be in the work yourself, to let go of some control over what happens in the room, and to trust it before you can see it. Without it, we are not the right practice.
You want parent sessions only when something goes wrong. By then it's a catch-up, not coaching.
You need crisis support, or a child therapist available between sessions by text. We are not a crisis service.
You need psychological testing, or documentation for a custody case, school placement, or court. We do not do either.
You expect therapy to keep grades up, change your child's personality, or produce a child who never struggles. Therapy builds capacity and understanding. It does not make a child into someone else.

Not sure which list you are on? Most parents are not. That is what the free 15-minute call is for.

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Money

What does therapy cost?+

Sessions run $200 to $270 per session, depending on the therapist your family sees. Current rates for each therapist are listed on our rates page. Parent coaching every four weeks is included in every case and billed at the same session rate. We are private pay only. If you have out-of-network benefits, we provide superbills.

Do you take insurance?+

No, we do not bill insurance. We are private pay. We do provide superbills, which is the itemized receipt with the codes your insurer needs. If you have out-of-network benefits, you submit it and your plan reimburses you directly. A lot of our families do this and get a good portion back. Whether your plan pays out is between you and your insurer.

I paid the deposit. What if I decide not to move forward?+

If you cancel within 24 hours of your first appointment, that slot can't be given to another family, and the deposit is not returned. If you need to reschedule to a different date before your first appointment, email or call us and we'll do our best to accommodate. Canceling the appointment altogether forfeits the deposit.

Is there a sliding scale?+

No. We don't offer a sliding scale, and we don't hold reduced-fee spots. The rates are the same for every family. Our associate therapists have the lowest session fee at the practice, so that is the most affordable way to work with us. If that is still out of reach, say so on the consultation call and we will point you to lower-fee options in the area.

Scheduling

Do sessions have to be weekly? Can we taper off over time?+

Yes, sessions are weekly, especially early on. Every-other-week from the start doesn't build the same relationship, and we don't do once-a-month child sessions.

Tapering does happen, once real progress is made, as a step toward a planned ending. That's a clinical decision we make together.

One thing worth naming: "once the crisis is over" is often exactly when it matters most to stay. The crisis usually surfaced something bigger, and pulling back then is the most common reason families end up starting over.

Can we come every other week?+

No. Sessions here are weekly, so that's what we schedule. Vacations and illness happen and we work around those. If every other week is all your schedule allows long term, tell us on the call and we'll be honest about whether we think it will work for your child. For most kids it doesn't.

Can we just try a few sessions and see how it goes?+

We understand the instinct, and honestly, dabbling doesn't work for children. Kids can tell when the adults haven't decided whether therapy is really happening, and they hold back too.

A few half-committed sessions can leave a kid worse than none, because their first experience of therapy becomes something that got interrupted.

If now isn't the right time, waiting is a legitimate choice, and we'll say so on the call.

Will therapy make my child behave?+

Not the way that question usually means it. We help kids regulate big feelings. We're not here to shut kids down. A perfectly compliant, easy-going kid isn't a healthy kid. That's a kid rehearsing to become a shut-down adult.

Behavior usually settles, because the child no longer needs it to be heard. But the settling is a byproduct of being understood. It's not the goal, and we won't make it the goal.

Why do you charge for late cancellations?+

Because the time is held for your child specifically. Inside 48 hours, that slot can't go to another family, so it stays empty.

There's a clinical piece too: a child who isn't sure therapy is happening doesn't show up to it the same way.

Real emergencies are different, and we'll reschedule within the week if we can. Work conflicts and forgetting are charged in full, for every family the same way.

Do you offer virtual sessions?+

Yes, for teens. Teen sessions can happen online when that is the better fit, and it is something we work out together at intake rather than a box you tick. Younger children are in person at our San Jose and Redwood City offices. The room, the sand tray and the art supplies are part of how play therapy works, and that does not translate to a screen. Parent coaching every four weeks is by video either way.

How Therapy Works Here

How long will therapy take?+

It depends on your child. What brought you here didn't develop overnight, and it won't resolve overnight. On average, we work with families for about a year. Some families wrap up sooner; some come back after a break when something new comes up. Progress also isn't linear. You'll see real change, then a hard week, then change again. That's normal. It's not therapy failing.

Will I know what happens in sessions?+

A fair thing to want. You're handing your child to someone for an hour a week.

We don't give a session-by-session rundown, because your child needs to know the room is theirs. What you get instead is parent coaching every four weeks: the themes I'm seeing, what they mean, and what to try at home. Anything urgent, you hear right away.

If it doesn't feel like enough, tell your therapist. We can adjust.

What does parent coaching actually look like?+

An hour every four weeks, without your child, by video. We share what we've been noticing in your child's sessions, ask what's been happening at home, and give you something specific to try before the next one. It's a working session, not a progress report, and it's part of every case.

Can I skip parent coaching?+

No. Your child can do real work in their therapy sessions, but if nothing shifts at home, the progress doesn't hold. You can't outsource all of this to us.

An occasional scheduling conflict, we'll work with you. But coaching is part of what you signed up for, and it stays.

Can we do parent sessions as needed instead of every four weeks?+

No. When it's up to the parent to decide, parents wait too long, or come in during a crisis, and the session turns into venting. Venting has a place, but it isn't coaching. Between sessions your child's therapist is tracking themes, what's underneath the behavior you're seeing at home, and every four weeks is the rhythm that connects the room to your house without reacting to every bad week.

You're the expert on your child. When a parent session is needed is a treatment decision, and that one's ours. It isn't therapy for you, but it will ask you to change something, and change is hard. Some sessions are uncomfortable. That isn't a sign it's going badly.

Can I just do parent coaching instead of my child having sessions?+

For most families, no. The two do different things. Your child's sessions build their own capacity to process and regulate. Coaching helps you understand what they're carrying and change how you respond. Neither replaces the other.

Parents usually ask this wanting more visibility. The coaching session is your channel for exactly that.

How involved do I need to be?+

Very. A standing parent session every four weeks is part of every case. Your child can make real progress in their sessions, but if the environment at home stays the same, it doesn't stick. The coaching piece is as important as the child's work.

What if my child doesn't want to go?+

It's common. Children don't know what therapy is, and what they imagine is usually worse than the reality. Most kids are fine once they're in the playroom, sometimes within minutes. You can tell them honestly: it's a room full of toys where someone gets to know you. That's actually true. If resistance continues past the first few sessions, we'll talk about what's driving it. Sometimes it's anxiety. Sometimes it's something worth knowing.

What if my teen won't talk?+

Talking isn't required. I work with teens while they're drawing, playing games, or doing something they're interested in. The side-by-side approach opens things up faster than sitting across from someone who's waiting for them to open up. Teens who say they won't talk usually do, once the pressure is off.

We have been coming a while. Why is my child not better yet?+

Ask us directly, in the next coaching session, and we'll give you a straight answer. When it feels stuck, it's usually one of these:

The change is happening somewhere you're not looking, usually in recovery time before frequency.
What brought you in was the surface of something older, and the older thing takes longer.
Things at home haven't shifted yet, and the room can only get so far ahead of that.
It's us, and the fit needs to change. Say so. We'd rather hear it than have you quietly decide.

What we won't do is tell you it's going great when it's not.

How do I know if therapy is working?+

The first signs are usually subtle. Not that your child stops struggling, but that the hard moments are shorter, or they come back to baseline faster. You might notice a small increase in frustration tolerance, or your child coming to you instead of melting down.

Therapy doesn't make everything smooth. The goal isn't a version of your child who never struggles. It's a child who has more capacity, and a family that understands each other better.

I was not raised talking about feelings and I turned out fine. Is this making my child softer?+

A lot of parents here were raised the same way, and I'm not going to tell you it was wrong.

What I'd add: feelings that don't get named don't go away. They come out sideways, as anxiety, as Sunday-night stomachaches, as the assignment that can't be started because it might not be perfect. A child who can say "I'm nervous about the test" is a child who can then go take the test.

It's harder to do this for your kid if nobody did it for you. That's not a flaw. It's a lot of what parent coaching is for.

Approaches

What's the difference between play therapy and regular therapy?+

With adults, you sit and talk. Children don't process experience that way. Play is how they make sense of their world and communicate what they're carrying. In play therapy, the child leads. They choose what to play with and how. My job is to watch, track what they're showing me, and reflect it back in a way that helps them feel understood. It looks like playing. It's actually very deep relational work.

Play therapy →
What is Brainspotting?+

Brainspotting is a trauma processing approach based on the idea that where you look affects what you feel. Specific eye positions can access material held in the nervous system that talk therapy doesn't always reach. In a session, we locate a "brainspot" that corresponds with a stuck feeling or difficult experience, and your nervous system does its own processing from there. It doesn't require talking through the trauma out loud. I use Brainspotting primarily with teens, for anxiety, trauma, and experiences that are hard to put into words.

Brainspotting →
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Medication

Do you prescribe medication?+

No. We're child and teen therapists, not prescribers. If medication seems worth exploring, we'll say so and refer you to a child psychiatrist or your pediatrician. If your child already has a prescriber, we're glad to coordinate, with your written permission.

Does my child need medication?+

That depends on what your child is experiencing. Therapy and medication aren't competing options. Research consistently shows people do better when both are in place, if medication is appropriate. If it comes up, we'll talk about it and can refer you to a child psychiatrist if we think it would help.

Divorce and Co-Parenting

Can my co-parent and I attend parent sessions together?+

Yes, and often that's the simplest setup, as long as the session stays focused on your child.

If it becomes a place to argue, we'll move to separate parent sessions instead. That's not a punishment, it's what makes the sessions usable, and plenty of our families are set up that way from the start.

My co-parent and I don't agree about therapy. Can we still do this?+

Often, yes. Children do fine as long as both parents let the therapy happen. What we ask is that the disagreement stays between the adults, and we meet separately with each of you where that helps. We don't take sides, we don't write custody recommendations, and we don't testify voluntarily. If your family needs documentation for court, you need a custody evaluator, not us.

Our Team

Profiles, credentials, and availability for every therapist are on the team page.

What is an associate therapist, and are they qualified to work with my child?+

Yes. An associate has a master's degree and is registered with the California Board of Behavioral Sciences while completing the 3,000 supervised hours for licensure. Postgraduate work, not student training.

The difference from a licensed therapist is supervised hours, not training or approach. Every associate here was hired because they practice the way we do, and every case is supervised by Hannah directly. The rate difference reflects licensing status, not the standard of care.

Can I do the consultation call with a specific therapist?+

The consultation is with Hannah, by design. Our associate therapists don't run consultations; their job is the therapy in the room with your child, and matching a family to the right therapist is Hannah's call as clinical director.

If you're interested in a specific therapist, say so. Hannah trained them and reviews their cases weekly, so she can tell you exactly how they work and whether they're the right match.

How do I know which therapist is the right fit?+

Schedule a consultation and we'll figure it out together. Some families prefer working directly with Hannah; others are more flexible. Every therapist here practices the same approach, and Hannah is the clinical director for the whole practice. Her supervision doesn't change based on which therapist your child sees.

Rates & fees by therapist →
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Contact Us

Call (408) 461-5935, email hello@yourtherapynook.com, or schedule a free 15-minute consultation.

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