How to Discuss Mental Health with Your Child: An Age-Appropriate Guide by a Child Therapist in San Jose
You want to talk to your child about mental health — maybe they’ve been having big feelings lately, or you’re even thinking about therapy but aren’t sure where to start. You just want to help them feel better, yet part of you worries, “What if I say the wrong thing?” That hesitation is completely normal.
Many parents feel this way — wanting to do the right thing but unsure how to begin. You might wonder if it’s just a phase, or if bringing up mental health will make things worse. But the truth is, talking about it opens the door for safety, connection, and understanding.
This guide is here to help you start that conversation with confidence. It offers gentle guidance, reassurance, and practical ways to help your child feel seen, supported, and emotionally secure.
Why Discussing Mental Health Is Important
Talking about mental health with your child matters more than most parents realize. When kids learn early that feelings are normal — even the tough ones — they start to feel safer in their own skin. They understand that emotions come and go, and that it’s okay to talk about them. These conversations help kids build confidence, compassion, and resilience.
You don’t need to have the perfect words or the perfect timing. What matters most is showing up and being curious. When you keep communication open, you’re teaching your child that emotions are something to be cared for, not hidden.
The good news is, these conversations don’t have to be perfect. Here are five practical ways to help your child understand mental health, emotional awareness, and connection in everyday life.ortant
1. Create Space for the Conversation
Younger children might respond best when you weave this conversation into play or daily routines — like chatting while coloring or building blocks. Older kids or teens might prefer a more direct approach, such as during a car ride or before bed, when the focus feels natural and private.
Choose a calm, everyday moment when you can both slow down. This might be during a car ride, a walk, or while getting ready for bed. Setting aside intentional time tells your child: This matters. You matter.
Start with something gentle and open-ended, like:
“I’ve been thinking about how we all have feelings — sometimes big ones — and how it helps to talk about them.”
When you offer quiet, focused space, you teach your child that mental health is something we can talk about with care, not fear.
2. Keep the Focus Clear and Compassionate
Before you start, ask yourself what you want your child to take away. Maybe you want to explain why a loved one is struggling, or help them understand what it means when someone is in therapy or taking medication.
You might say:
“Uncle Ben has been really sad lately, so he’s talking to someone who helps people feel better.”
“Sometimes our brains need support, just like our bodies do.”
These moments model empathy and curiosity. You’re showing that mental health challenges are part of being human — not something to be ashamed of.
3. Answer Questions Honestly (and Simply)
If you feel unsure or emotional during these talks, take a slow breath before responding. It’s okay to pause and collect yourself—this models calmness and shows your child that emotions can be handled thoughtfully.
Kids can ask big questions with small words. They might say, “Why is that person crying?” or “What’s therapy?” Keep your answers truthful, brief, and age-appropriate:
“They might be having a tough day and need some support.”
“Therapy is a place where you can talk about your feelings and learn ways to feel better.”
“That’s a great question. I don’t know all the answers, but we can find out together.”
Honesty builds trust. When you answer with calm openness, you’re showing that feelings — even hard ones — are okay to talk about.
4. Model What You Want Them to Learn
Children learn by watching us. When you name your feelings — “I felt frustrated today, so I took a walk to calm down” — you teach emotional awareness. You show your child that emotions can be managed and cared for, not hidden or avoided.
Modeling this emotional language helps your child learn self-regulation, compassion, and confidence in expressing their needs. For example, you might say, “I was feeling really overwhelmed after work today, so I took a few minutes to sit quietly before talking about it.” This shows your child how to acknowledge feelings and find ways to calm themselves. Over time, it builds stronger emotional connection between you both.
Here are a few more examples of how you can model healthy emotional habits:
“I felt nervous before my meeting, so I took some deep breaths to calm down.”
“I was sad when plans changed, so I gave myself a hug and listened to music for a bit.”
“I noticed I was getting frustrated, so I stepped away to take a few minutes before we talked.”
When your child sees you handle feelings in these ways, they learn that emotions are normal and that there are healthy ways to work through them. They may even begin to mirror this language back, saying things like, “I felt mad today, so I drew a picture to feel better.”
5. When to Bring in Professional Support
You might notice signs that your child could benefit from therapy if they’re often anxious or worried, have frequent tantrums or mood swings, struggle with sleep, avoid friends or school, or seem unusually withdrawn. These behaviors can signal that your child needs additional emotional support.
If your child seems overwhelmed by their emotions — having frequent meltdowns, withdrawing, worrying often, or showing signs of stress — therapy can provide a safe, structured space for them to process and grow.
Working with a child therapist or play therapist allows children to express feelings through play, stories, and creative expression. Therapy helps them learn coping tools, build self-awareness, and strengthen communication with you.
Parents often notice that after starting therapy, their child becomes calmer, more expressive, and more able to name their feelings. Families feel more connected — and that sense of “we’re on the same team” returns.
The Benefits of Having These Conversations
When you take time to talk with your child about mental health, you’re doing more than just having a nice chat — you’re building lifelong skills. Children who grow up with open, emotionally safe conversations tend to:
Recognize and name their feelings with ease
Ask for help before things feel too big or overwhelming
Show greater empathy and understanding toward others
Handle stress and disappointment with more resilience
Feel more comfortable and confident in therapy if they ever need it
By normalizing conversations about feelings and mental health, you’re helping your child develop a foundation of self-awareness that supports success in school, relationships, and life. It’s not about preventing every hard moment — it’s about helping them know they’re capable of moving through those moments with support.
Ready to Start the Conversation — and the Healing?
With consistent support, children often gain confidence, regulate emotions more effectively, and rediscover joy in everyday moments.
If you’re ready to support your child’s emotional well-being, therapy can be the next step. At Your Therapy Nook, I help children, teens, and parents create deeper connection, reduce anxiety, and build emotional resilience through play therapy, brainspotting, and parent coaching.
You don’t have to do this alone. Let’s start with a consultation to talk about your child’s needs and explore what therapy can look like for your family.
Schedule a consultation today to begin your child’s therapy journey!
About the Author, Hannah Ly Child Therapist in San Jose
Hannah Ly, LMFT is a child therapist, play therapist, and teen therapist in San Jose who works with children, teens, and parents to help them build emotional awareness, resilience, and connection. Hannah combines a warm, relational approach with evidence-based tools to make therapy feel natural and approachable for families.
She offers play therapy for young children, therapy for teens navigating anxiety, stress, and identity development, and parent coaching for caregivers who want to strengthen connection and communication at home. Hannah’s approach supports families through major life transitions, big feelings, and everyday challenges — always with the goal of creating a calmer, more connected family environment.
Through her practice at Your Therapy Nook, Hannah helps parents and kids find language for their emotions, practice healthy coping skills, and rediscover the joy in being together. Whether your child is struggling with anxiety, self-esteem, or family stress, Hannah provides a safe and compassionate space for healing and growth.
