Child Therapist Tips for Managing Changes with Your Child
Transitions and new experiences are part of life. Helping your child manage them successfully will create a life skill for them to use for the rest of their lives. Some children experience changes easily, they are able to accept the new experiences and don’t need a lot of support.
Other children are slower to warm up to new experiences or environments, and could benefit from your caring support as they learn how to manage on their own. It’s also important to check in on how you are feeling as a caregiver in the changing situation. Your expression of emotions and reactions to the unexpected changes or stressors will be internalized by your child.
Talking about the Changes: Child Therapist San Jose
Having multiple conversations about the transition, if it’s a planned one, can be helpful. Explain to your child (when you know they are paying attention) what will be happening, when, and what they can expect. For younger children, use words and phrases for the passage of time that they are familiar with.
“Mommy and daddy will be going away for two nights. This will be after three more school days. While we are gone, Auntie will be here to watch you and play with you. We will teach Auntie how you get ready for bed and what you do to get ready for school in the morning. After two nights sleeping in your bed, mommy and daddy will come back!”
“Remember when Mommy told you how Auntie was going to watch you and play with you when Mommy and Daddy went away? It was going to be after three more school days, now it’s been three school days so Auntie will be here in a few hours!”
Validating their Feelings:
Identifying and validating your child’s feelings about the changes is important so your child feels seen and heard during the experience. This should be done without judgment and without the need to fix or change your child’s feelings.
Allowing your child to express their feelings, and allowing them space to feel seen and heard will help them know you will support them through the changes.
Check-In With Yourself:
For unexpected changes, things outside of your control, or stressful situations, be sure to check-in with yourself often. It’s important to ensure you are taking care of yourself, emotionally and physically, to be able to show up for your child. Being honest without burdening your child with your feelings can be a way to show your authentic response to the situation, to model how all feelings are okay to feel in different circumstances.
If you find yourself constantly angry, sad, or overwhelmed in front of your child, it’s recommended to seek out support for yourself, to be able to have a safe place to express what you are feeling.
This could be with a trustworthy friend, partner, or family member, or with a mental health professional such as a therapist or psychologist.
It’s great to be equipped with practical steps to help your child manage changes. Guiding them in structured, calm ways allows them to be able to gain skills to be able to use in the future. Change will always happen and so it’s important to teach your child how to manage it and to make sure you are prepared to be a supportive caregiver when it does.
Need help managing your child? Feel lost with parenting? Get help and guidance today so that you can parent with confidence by scheduling a free 30-Minute Consultation
About Hannah, Child Therapist in San Jose
Hannah is a Child Therapist and Teen Therapist who specializes in treating children with anxiety, trauma, and attachment issues. She offers services such as Play Therapy for Children, Parental Coaching, and trauma therapy. Hannah's expertise extends to working with youth who are adopted or from the foster care system. She provides therapy in-person in San Jose, CA.
